Some Footie Humor...

Yeah, I know it's been awhile since the co-owner of this blog actually posted up an entry. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I needed the right material as well as it being at the right time. I think.

So anywayz, here's some absurd footie humor I got off a website. I forgot what the URL of the website is but yeah, credit goes to the owner of the site, not me.

Ronaldo, Figo, Beckham Joke - Euro 2004 Version

Ronaldo, Luis Figo and David Beckham are standing in Heaven before the throne of God.

God looks at them and says; "And so here you are to face your Lord and maker. I shall ask each of you a question."

Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "Ronaldo, one of the world's greatest football players, what is it that you believe brought you here before me?"

Ronaldo looks God in the eye and says passionately, "I believe football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so Many people, from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people, with little else, who stood on the terraces supporting their team."

God smiles and offers Ronaldo a seat to his left.

He then turns to Luis Figo, "And similarly you, Luis, a hero to so many, what do you think it was brought you to my throne?"

Figo stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these commitments."

God, moved by the passion of his speech offers Figo a seat to his right.

He then turns to Beckham, "And you, David. Presumably you just want your ball back?"

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Random Jokes

West Ham are being predicted to stay in the premership for three seasons.
Autumn, Winter, Spring

David James is so distraught after his latest blunder that he decides to end it all. He walks straight out of the city of manchester stadium and throws himself down in front of a number 9 bus. Luckily, it passes under him.

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Footballing definitions

Football: A game consisting of 22 skilled players, one impartial referee, two eagle eyed referee's assistants and one stupid ball.

Teammate: Another person that you have to dribble around

Fans: Two sets of absusive referees

Offside: The Bermuda Triangle area of the pitch where "innocent" players are drawn towards.

Scoring: When 11 men spontaneously start dancing and kissing, regardless of any injuries, whilst 11 others droop like wallflowers

Striker: Faultless, overpaid, box hogging layabout who only misses the goal when he is fed a bad ball

Defender: Player who's function is to commit fouls just outside of the penalty area

Ball: Round object used by referees to entice players into comitting fouls.

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*Gives standing ovation*

Great jokes. Watch this space for more updates!!

Laterz...
Lenny JC